Getting Over a Split – Was She Your Perfect Match ?

Posted: April 2nd, 2010 | Author: social-butterfly | Filed under: Dating | Tags: , , , , | No Comments »

Have you been thinking anything along the lines of this since the break up?

“There is not a single detail that I dislike about my former girlfriend, in my eyes she is totally perfect and I just do not think that I will be lucky enough to find a person like her again.”

This is extremely common for men.

This is the main thing. Entertaining the thought that this dame was more exemplary that any other lady you have a future relationship with. That's not a fun thing to imagine. In fact it is a piercing one. That is a big part of the reason you are feeling terrible right now, and you wish things could go back to how they were. Recognise and be aware of that.

Let me come at you from another angle, in the role of mediator. Have you heard or seen this kind of situation before:

“When I broke up with a girlfriend several years ago I couldn't stop thinking about how perfect she was, and worrying that I'd never find someone as good as that ever again. It's comical now that I reflect on it. Since that girl I've had three girlfriends, and I enjoyed each of them more than her. It's like my mind and perspective has changed. I don't think of that girl as that paradisiacal any longer. It appeared to be some sort of temporary phase I was going through…”

This is also extremely common for men.

What is playing here? The effect it has is a little bit up and down. Your objectivity moves one way, then it shifts into another direction.

Shouldn't an inclination and the way you view someone remain the same? Especially if your ex-girlfriend remains unchanged, why would your attitude about her undergo a shift?

The vindication is “No”. Human beings and males don't always empathize in the same way. We are disorderly. This is a natural demeanor of the way we think, not only in relationships, but in lots of other situations of our lives.


In this moment, we refer to this temporary regard as the “Perfect One for You” syndrome.

It is important to understand that this is only a temporary perspective because it is also a barrier to you starting to feel good about yourself and your life again. Handling this thought plays an important part in the process for getting over a break up for men.

The truth is that hormonal diversity in our body when we are in love with someone cause our brains to focus on only the worthy parts of people and to ignore the bad parts. This is an essential circumstance to allow for males and females to copulate and take care of their children. Basic biological and evolutionary science is what I'm talking about here. At this moment it is certain in scientific circles.

Now let us concentrate on providing you with some insight.

Undertake this exercise right now, to show yourself how pigheaded your attitude is. Try to do this exercise, if you can, with a friend who you are tight with and can remain objective or at least provide you with some outside perspective that. This will make it much more purposive.

  1. Take a piece of paper and write down a numbered list containing all the godawful memories you had with this former lover. This should include fights, scenes, things she did to disrespect you, aspects of her personality you didn't care for, times she may have perplexed you or stopped you from doing things important to you etc.
  2. Try to be unrelenting and disinterested and jot down the whole shebang.
  3. Now take another piece of paper and make a numbered list of all the blissful times. Times you joked around together, unique events, all the things about the relationship that brought something to your life and enriched it.

Now look at these two lists. Is or was she beyond compare? Speaking dispassionately? Be forthright with yourself. Does the attitude you've had, “Perfect One for You”, come close to the attitude reflected in these tallies?

If you've done this exercise perfectly the response is “No”.

The fact of the matter is that there is no “perfect girl” for you. There are large quantities of girls in the world that will get along with you and will be deserving of you. None of them will be foolproof.

However, when you have butterflies in your stomach, anyone of them will look as if they are the right one for you.

GirlfriendDumpedMe.com has tons of tips and courses to move on from your relationship quickly and to stop hurting. Delve into more opinions and methods on getting over a break upquickly and how to make sure that you never get into the situation “Girlfriend Dumped Me“.