Getting Over a Split – Was She Your Perfect Match ?

Posted: April 2nd, 2010 | Author: social-butterfly | Filed under: Dating | Tags: , , , , | No Comments »

Have you been thinking anything along the lines of this since the break up?

“There is not a single detail that I dislike about my former girlfriend, in my eyes she is totally perfect and I just do not think that I will be lucky enough to find a person like her again.”

This is extremely common for men.

This is the main thing. Entertaining the thought that this dame was more exemplary that any other lady you have a future relationship with. That's not a fun thing to imagine. In fact it is a piercing one. That is a big part of the reason you are feeling terrible right now, and you wish things could go back to how they were. Recognise and be aware of that.

Let me come at you from another angle, in the role of mediator. Have you heard or seen this kind of situation before:

“When I broke up with a girlfriend several years ago I couldn't stop thinking about how perfect she was, and worrying that I'd never find someone as good as that ever again. It's comical now that I reflect on it. Since that girl I've had three girlfriends, and I enjoyed each of them more than her. It's like my mind and perspective has changed. I don't think of that girl as that paradisiacal any longer. It appeared to be some sort of temporary phase I was going through…”

This is also extremely common for men.

What is playing here? The effect it has is a little bit up and down. Your objectivity moves one way, then it shifts into another direction.

Shouldn't an inclination and the way you view someone remain the same? Especially if your ex-girlfriend remains unchanged, why would your attitude about her undergo a shift?

The vindication is “No”. Human beings and males don't always empathize in the same way. We are disorderly. This is a natural demeanor of the way we think, not only in relationships, but in lots of other situations of our lives.


In this moment, we refer to this temporary regard as the “Perfect One for You” syndrome.

It is important to understand that this is only a temporary perspective because it is also a barrier to you starting to feel good about yourself and your life again. Handling this thought plays an important part in the process for getting over a break up for men.

The truth is that hormonal diversity in our body when we are in love with someone cause our brains to focus on only the worthy parts of people and to ignore the bad parts. This is an essential circumstance to allow for males and females to copulate and take care of their children. Basic biological and evolutionary science is what I'm talking about here. At this moment it is certain in scientific circles.

Now let us concentrate on providing you with some insight.

Undertake this exercise right now, to show yourself how pigheaded your attitude is. Try to do this exercise, if you can, with a friend who you are tight with and can remain objective or at least provide you with some outside perspective that. This will make it much more purposive.

  1. Take a piece of paper and write down a numbered list containing all the godawful memories you had with this former lover. This should include fights, scenes, things she did to disrespect you, aspects of her personality you didn't care for, times she may have perplexed you or stopped you from doing things important to you etc.
  2. Try to be unrelenting and disinterested and jot down the whole shebang.
  3. Now take another piece of paper and make a numbered list of all the blissful times. Times you joked around together, unique events, all the things about the relationship that brought something to your life and enriched it.

Now look at these two lists. Is or was she beyond compare? Speaking dispassionately? Be forthright with yourself. Does the attitude you've had, “Perfect One for You”, come close to the attitude reflected in these tallies?

If you've done this exercise perfectly the response is “No”.

The fact of the matter is that there is no “perfect girl” for you. There are large quantities of girls in the world that will get along with you and will be deserving of you. None of them will be foolproof.

However, when you have butterflies in your stomach, anyone of them will look as if they are the right one for you.

GirlfriendDumpedMe.com has tons of tips and courses to move on from your relationship quickly and to stop hurting. Delve into more opinions and methods on getting over a break upquickly and how to make sure that you never get into the situation “Girlfriend Dumped Me“.


Survive A Break Up The Easy Way

Posted: November 27th, 2009 | Author: social-butterfly | Filed under: Breaking Up, Dating | Tags: , , | No Comments »

The majority of people at some point in their lives will go through the ugly experience of a break up. This is always a tough time for anyone and the stress can make you sleepless, nauseous and even cause you to over or under eat. So how can you get to a place where you can face life again from this position of hurt.Well here are five top tips on how to survive an break up and how to get over a broken heart:

1) If you chose to do the breaking up don’t keep agonizing over the decision, You did it for probably very good reasons. Constantly churning over in your mind different scenarios is not going to help anybody and will only prolong your hurt. Instead look to the future.

2) Put your feelings down on paper. It can be a great release of stress to simply write your feelings down. It can help you to get everything into perspective and will perhaps aid you in seeing that things are not all so bad after all.

3) Get organized. take some time to get your house freshened up and looking organised again . Doing this helps take your mind off things. Take all the old belongings of your ex put them in a suitably sized case and store them away somewhere safe. There is no need to keep having to look at those photos of you together every time you go into a room. Some people choose to burn them and this can be a good release and is very final but to my mind there must have been some good times that are worth remembering so don’t be in a rush to do that just make sure they are out of sight.


4) Start getting out and about again. Avoid sitting at home wallowing in your own self pity and instead start to socialise again but of course avoid binge drinking.

5) Release it. Take a little bit of time to mentally go through what happened, what lessons can be learned and make a note of these. Take responsibility for the mistakes you made and accept the situation you are now in. From this position it is much easier to let go of your ex and move on to a new and better life.

OK, with those points in mind you will find getting over a break up and dealing with a break up much easier and quicker to get over your ex and start living the life you deserve once more.