The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage
Posted: July 27th, 2010 | Author: admin | Filed under: Committed Relationship | 5 Comments »
Product Description
Dr. Laura Schlessinger reveals how to bring a marriage back from the brink of disaster. Jumping off her million-copy bestseller The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura Schlessinger exposes the sensitive and loving truths necessary to produce and sustain a wonderfully satisfying marriage. First and foremost, men and women need to understand and appreciate the uniqueness of masculinity and femininity. Both husband and wife have power in their relationship, and both need to realize this to ensure for themselves the personal satisfaction they yearn for. Dr. Laura explores the best ways a couple can relate, caretake, and nurture each other, and how to rescue a troubled marriage that seems doomed to fai… More >>
The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage
I bought this book for two friends who are about to get married (they’re sometime listeners to Dr. Laura), and I found myself reading it first. Much to my surprise, I found it a real page-turner. I think people see or hear Dr. Laura on radio or TV and just instantly make up their minds about her, either loving or hating her. But when you really pay attention to what she says, and read the words she writes, she makes enormous sense.
How many of us always complain about the little things our husbands do, or make fun of their never asking for directions, but don’t quite think about how we can make them feel more like “men.” And in THIS book, Dr. Laura also addresses what men need to do to make us wives feel more like women. It sounds old-fashioned, and maybe it is, but it really works.
She gives “action items” to work on to improve your marriage, and actually explains in a clear manner the psychological and emotional differences between men and women, some of which I hadn’t ever really THOUGHT about. I ended up buying another copy for my soon-to-be married friends, and kept the first one for myself and my husband. Even after (and perhaps ESPECIALLY after) many years of marriage, this book has something to offer to keep those home fires burning!
Rating: 5 / 5
The main idea of this book is to point to BOTH husbands and wives that they have a responsibility in marriage and it starts with a good attitude. I have read “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” and, as a comparison, it does make a lot of similar points, but also brings out how husbands can contribute to their wife’s “desire” to properly care and feed them. I think I like this book better than the feeding of husbands because it really does highlight how men and women interact to create a loving marriage. She still gives a lot of the responsbility to women, especially in the first few chapters, but she points out that men shouldn’t see it as an “obligation,” but as a gift to be grateful for. She tells both wives and husbands to be appreciative instead of holding expectations all the time and griping out of disappointment that you’re not being treated like you deserve.
Her advice is simple. Treat them how you would want to be treated. Look for the positive. Give 110% and you’ll get back much more in return. If your marriage has been rough, give it time to heal. Don’t expect change overnight. Marriage is hard work, but it should be fun; not a sibling relationship. Sex is what binds men to their women (men are not just horny jerks who see their wives as sex objects). Respect each other. It’s about WE not ME.
The only thing that I think I didn’t like is how she rants about “feminism” so much. As a woman I think that we can just plain be bums (feminsim aside) and blame our kids, hormones, PMS, fatique, and everything else for why we don’t have the energy to treat our husbands properly. I know plenty of women who don’t see themselves as feminists who are still jerks to their husbands. Just look past the feminist bashing and get to the substance that’s deeper in the book and you’re sure to be motivated to be a better spouse (both husband and wife) in some way. The book gains more substance the further you read.
If your marriage needs improvement in any way, I can guarantee you won’t be wasting your time in reading this book. She has a very straight-forward, sometimes funny tone that can actually make things lighter for you.
I really like how she encourages those who have “been to hell” in their marriage that there is a lot of hope, and even hope that this struggle can make your marriage more solid than ever. How’s that for optimism?
Happy reading and long live your marriage!
Rating: 4 / 5
My wife gave this book to me for my birthday (along with my favorite home-made double-fudge chocolate cake). I thought — great — another relationship book. Good bedtime reading if I want to go to sleep… But Chapter One just hooked me — this is not another “Men Are From Mars” book that paints men and women as different alien races who can only understand each other from a purely academic point of view. Here are the differences men and women love about each other — supporting why God made us different and encouraging us to celebrate the differences!
This book gives support and hope to those of us guys who truly believe that when we stood in front of the minister and all our friends and family and exchanged solemn vows with our brides, we were making a lifetime commitment to be with someone for the rest of our lives, that we were going to travel a long road together and that it would be bumpy some times, as Dr. Laura calls it “the bridge over troubled waters” but that the voyage is worth it for ourselves and most importantly for our children. And that this consecrated commitment of love is a sacred thing that should be cherished, nourished and celebrated.
So after I finished the book, I turned to my wife and asked her if she would be, as Dr. Laura says, “receptive to my amourous advances” in the future. She winked at me and said, “The key word is amourous.” Guess I’ll be buying her more flowers in the future.
Rating: 5 / 5
I am a man. I don’t listen her radio show and I don’t consider myself her “fan”. My impressions from Dr. Laura and her philosophy are based entirely on this book. Well, it is really a valuable, detailed and potentially saving book for a troubled serious relationship. I agree that certain pieces of advice may seem “old-fashioned”. However, I prefer to think of them as classical. The discussed principles have established as working and quite successful for centuries and the peak of divorces nowadays more or less proves that “back to bases” may be exactly what we need. I am thankful to Dr. Laura for having the courage to state 1:1 what she thinks, believes and based on numerous surveys knows is effective and valuable.
I have to say that she has an in-depth knowledge and view about relationships and ways to improve them without giving “quick-fix” tips. She makes it very clear that it takes work, commitment and care to turn around a stagnant relationship. What is more, I think that her advice to women to avoid saying “no” to sex is misunderstood. She actually presents this particular aspect as reception to man’s amorous advances. The nightmare of every middle-aged man is to do not be able to back them with good performance in bed. The last thing she preaches women is to forget about themselves, their desires and career and to become slaves of their men. It is just the opposite. Dr. Laura herself has a successful career AND at the same time she does her best to adhere to all those female specific principles and qualities. Although I don’t agree with absolutely everything, there is A LOT every open minded man and woman can and will get from this book. That’s why I highly recommend it.
Rating: 5 / 5
While attending a party (in my younger days), I said I believed in the sanctity and institution of marriage. A pompous, arrogant, and obnoxious man at my table said: “Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?”.
Words can not describe the silent anguish, embarrassment, and tears – I saw in the eyes of his date. I thought to myself: “What a cruel and horrible thing to say!”. Yet it was fashionable, facetious, and “hip”, at that time.
Sadly, this type of trite expression is still prevalent in today’s “any-thing- goes -society”. In my response (which left him speechless) I said: “Because I want more than just milk!”. Since that time, like many selfish people, he has died a lonely, premature death – while I am still having my milk and drinking it too.
Sentiments like the one above and many others dealing with real-life problems are addressed in Dr. Laura’s informative book. Reading it will make everyone presently in a marriage … stop, think, and look at their partner with a new set of principles, perspectives, and responsibilities.
The essence of the book is that men and women are different and those differences should be embraced, not ignored. Page two, points out advice to which all of us should adhere:
l. Treat your spouse as if you loved them with your last breath – no matter how contrary to that you might feel at any one moment.
2. Think hard everyday about how you can make their life worth living.
3. Be the kind of person you would want to love, hug, come home to, and sacrifice for.
This book does not have, in Dr Laura’s words: “The usual psychobabble”. However, it does offer something refreshingly unique; the truth. If you can handle it; life can be a fulfilling, adventurous, and marvelous experience for you and your partner … in this thing called love.
Reviewed by Reggie Johnson, author, How to Close More Customers
Rating: 5 / 5