A Fresh Start After Divorce

Weddings tend to be happy events filled with joyful expectations. Surrounded by smiling friends and supportive family members, how could the happy bride and groom expect that their marriage will end badly? Who can anticipate pain in the midst of joy? Even though most marriages start out happily, the National Center for Health Statistics’ research has down that the divorce rate has reached 50% in almost as recently as 2008.

Breaking a marriage is in itself a trying decision to make, compounded by dealing with the legal intricacies associated with it that is even more daunting. Divorce breaks the legal bonds of marriage where it stands, unlike annulment  which retroactively wipes the slate clean as if the marriage had never even happened. Certain issues, such as support or maintenance for the spouse, asset division and responsibility for debts, must be addressed in the process. If you have children, the process will be even more complicated. Who gets custody, what the visitation rights are, and the amount of child support to be paid are to be determined with the best interest of the child in mind.

The dissolution of a marriage generally falls into one of two broad categories – contested and uncontested although laws differ from state to state. If both parties are in agreement on the issues, then the divorce is uncontested. If one or the other contests the divorce, a judge will be required to decide. In addition to being emotionally draining, contested divorces are typically more expensive.

Each party obtains legal representation in most cases. However it  is possible to proceed without a lawyer. By surfing the Internet, you can find do-it-yourself form packets from a variety sources When the two parties have come to an agreement in terms of custody and visitation of the children and when the division of the assets of the marriage is fairly simple, then it is a better idea to use the do-it-yourself method because that is less expensive than hiring an attorney. Don’t try to represent yourself legally until you have a good knowledge of the applicable laws within your state.

The break-up of a marriage is also emotionally wrenching, even when both spouses have known the marriage was troubled. To experience grief when a marriage ends is normal. Grief does not change whether it pertains to a divorce or a deceased loved one. Don’t prevent yourself from mourning as you experience each phase of grief. To feel both relieved and saddened at the same time is possible. While exhausting, these conflicting feelings are normal.

At some point, it is also normal to want to build a new relationship. However to get involved in a serious relationship too quickly is not healthy. After a breakup, the two individuals want to do nothing but analyze why their previous relationship fell apart. It is not very likely that a rebound relationship will survive. After a breakup give yourself some time.

After your marital breakup be kind to yourself. Sleep well and eat healthy. Regularly exercise. As you work through the feelings and experiences surrounding your breakup, allow yourself to have new beginnings. You will be ready to move forward after an adjustment period. Then you can take the energy once poured into grief and use it to start again.

If you’re interested in more information, you can learn about my experience as an good Austin family law attorney. You can also watch our free seminar on divorce in Austin TX at www.AustinDivorceHelp.com. If you need more specific information, you can read our Austin divorce questions.